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Friday, December 2, 2011

More Answers

I am glad that my readers, fans, and friends still have questions for me because it's giving me material to blog about!!  Here is another one that I will do my best to answer:  "ur married and have kids, how did you approach potential relationships etc and bringing that new person into your 'world'? and did you find ur sex life complicated at all by others perceptions or ur own perceptions? u seem very confident and un phased at all by what other people think, i just wondered if that also translated into ur personal world? "
I believe I approached relationships just like anyone else would.  If a man wanted to get to know me and date me, then I would assume he had already noticed that I am missing a few limbs!  So, if he had a problem with that, then he probably would not be dating me in the first place.  In the past, there have been the occasional men who wouldn't date me because they "didn't know how to talk to me" or didn't know how to handle my situation.  I was even with one man who insisted that I didn't wear sleeveless tops because people would stare at me!  I told him that people are going to look and stare at me no matter what i wear!  i could wear a long sleeve turtle neck, a strapless top, tank top, short sleeve t-shirt, or a freakin' tent.....it's not going to stop people from staring!!  If you know me at all, then you've probably already guessed what I did.....YEP!  I wore a strapless top out that night anyway!!  He was obviously a jerk, and I did NOT stay with him.  I told him that not EVERYONE stares just because I don't have arms and think I'm a freak!  Some people like to watch simple because they are amazed.  Most people are just curious.  Wouldn't you be??  After all, it's not every day you see someone eating with their feet in a restaurant.  i told him, for all we know they could be staring at him and wondering what the hell I was doing with him??  haha
With anyone who is new to my world, my reality, I try to make them feel more comfortable by letting them know that if I need help, I will ask.  I don't make them feel bad for watching me do things.  i usually try to inject some humor into things too....it helps:)
I have to say though, being armless is sometimes a great way to weed out the jerks!!!  I have found that MOST people don't care that I'm using my feet, and they eventually "forget" that I don't have hands.  Most of my friends, family, etc eventually become unaware of the looks and whispers of others.  They aren't quite as unaware as I am, but oh well.  The ones who DO care about that and can't handle it obviously need to be weeded out anyway.
I guess I realize that people are just curious, amazed,etc, and I don't care if they look.  I'm so used to it that most times, I don't even notice....unless they're being downright rude.  I have my ways of dealing with them too:)  I figure if someone doesn't like the way I look, or they don't like to see me using my feet, they don't have to look!  Ya, I'm wearing a tank top, and my shoulders/nubs are showing! You don't like that??  OH FREAKIN" WELL...then don't look!! So ya, I'm pretty unphased by what people think. Why should I care what they think? They sure don't care what I think!!  Hey, I can't please everybody!  I am just me....take me or leave me. lol
OK, to answer the question about sex: doesn't sex always complicate relationships?? lol  Honestly, I've never had a problem in this department.  On more than one occasion I've been asked HOW I have sex. My response is always, "Very well!!!! You don't need arms for that, and I have everything else!"  That usually shuts them up.  If they decide to just be raunchy, I'll answer their questions with a smug, "That's something you will never be lucky enough to find out."
IF being with me sexually and my not having arms/hands has ever been an issue for someone, I have never been told about it.  I could certainly understand how it could be a concern though, and I wouldn't hold it against anyone for feeling that way.  In fact I think it would hurt my feelings more if someone told me I was bad in bad than 
if they said they had a hard time dealing with me not having hands!
I hope this answered those questions to your satisfaction:)  Keep your questions coming people!!!

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