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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Determination & Stubbornness Are Rearing Their Heads Once Again

Jr. Nationals is just around the corner it seems, and I was debating about whether or not to even send in my entry form.  This has been, without a doubt, the worst contest prep I've ever had.  In all the years I've been competing, I have never struggled this much to get ready for a show.  It has been absolutely ridiculous.  If it's not one thing, it's another getting in my way.  There have been obstacles popping up around every corner.  My life has been quite chaotic this year, to put it mildly, which is sooo not what I'm used to.    Stress and knee pain have been my biggest and toughest battles.  Between unnecessary emotional stress, thanks to a certain male friend, and stress from my 16 yr. old, I've been a mess...physically, emotionally, and mentally.  My son is now going to school in another state, where he can get the help he needs in different areas of his life.  I am beyond grateful for the folks who are in our lives now to help.  Now that I've gotten him all settled and my heart is at peace, I can finally relax, be a lot less stressed, and focus on MY goal to compete in June.   It's amazing how stress can affect fat loss!  The fat IS coming off, but it has been fighting me every step of the way and taking its sweet time to comply!  My body does not want to cooperate and do what it knows to do!!  It's extremely frustrating!  I'm expecting weight to start dropping a bit faster now that my stress level is much lower; at least I hope so.
My knees have been the other major obstacle.  Both of my knees are jacked up.  They're always swollen, full of fluid, and they hurt almost constantly. The proof is on my M.R.I. films.   These knees of mine are really putting a cramp in my style when it comes to training, conditioning, cardio, gymnastics, and routine practice.  I was ready to throw in the towel and retire AGAIN from competing, until my doctor referred me to a chiropractor who has a fancy super-powered laser that will help my knees tremendously!  There are only 4 of these lasers in the country, and luckily for me, one of them is here very close to me!!   You can read about this laser at laserkneeinstitute.com  I've only had two treatments so far, but I can already feel a difference.  I've been advised to stay out of the gyms just this week.  I'm doing my best to obey orders:) It's not easy to obey tall orders like that when I'm only 7 weeks out from competition day.  
In the past, when I learned different gymnastics tricks and flips, I chickened out when it came to actually doing them in my routine on stage.  This time, I've been more determined than ever to master a few tricks and perform them at Jr. Nationals.  I realize that this may be my last competition due to my knee health. So, I want to go out with a bang, have an awesome routine, and prove to MYSELF that I can do this!  So, when I thought about maybe having to quit, it just killed me!  Because of this laser, I have renewed hope.  I am not giving up just yet!  Giving up isn't in my DNA.  At the end of this competition, I want to be able to say that despite every curve ball that was thrown my way, I kept pushing, kept getting over the hurdles, and made it all the way.  Is this determination or just pure stubbornness on my part?  I'm not completely sure, but I'd like to think it's both!  Nothing is stopping me now...not teenagers, not a man, not stress, not emotional turmoil, not knee pain, and not stubborn fat!  This chick is taking the bull by the horns and is going to bust my butt to finish what I started!!  Yee haw!    See y'all in Chicago!!

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